Though Alzheimer’s affects the memory, by some miracle, Gramps is still able to remember funny sayings and poetry that he learned in high school.
Growing up, each Christmas my cousins and I were absolutely SPOILED by my grandparents. For one day, my grandparents’ family room would turn into a chaotic “present-opening room.” I was the youngest of eight grandchildren, so the adults probably realized they didn’t want to be in the same room as eight screaming brats way before I was born, and invoked the “kids-only room” to preserve their own sanity amidst Christmas craziness. Each grandchild would have a large red garbage bag filled presents.
And though every year we knew Santa would check off EVERYTHING on our Christmas list, in the months leading up to the anticipatory day should we have asked Gramps what he had bought us for Christmas, the answer would always be the same: “A comb, and a brush, and a kick in the mush!”
He still recites his poetry from time to time. A particular favorite is one about Christopher Columbus, which I Googled one day to find the complete copy. Gramps has lost a little bit of discretion in his old age, and the poem is one, that even at 30 years-old, is so nasty it makes me blush! Thankfully, he can’t remember ALL the words, so we can still take him out in public when he is in a poetic mood without mothers staring at him aghast while covering their children’s ears. My discretion is still intact, so I can’t reprint the words here, but you can find them here. Parents, be advised!
Another particularly frightful recitation of Gramps’ poetry came when he was visiting me in Mexico. My boyfriend at the time, who happened to be a very well-mannered Mexican man, had joined us for lunch. My boyfriend and had actually picked the restaurant and much to Gramps’ pleasure, picked one where the waitresses wore very short skirts.
After thanking my boyfriend for selecting such a place, Gramps began to recite: “If skirts keep getting shorter, which seems to be the rage, there’ll be two more cheeks to powder and another place to shave.” My Mexican boyfriend spoke a little English, but I turned to him expecting to have to translate.
“Entendiste? [Did you understand?]“ I asked him. But by the look on his face, I knew he had even before he responded.
With a bright red face, he turned to me and said, “Que digo? [What do I say?]“
He was still trying to keep some of his Mexican caballero-ism intact in front of my mother. I told him to just laugh, which he did. However, I am sure once he went back to Guanajuato, he told his amigos what a grosero americano my grandfather was.
Alzheimer’s Fact: The progressive loss of cognitive function in Alzheimer’s patients is accompanied by pathologic (disease associated) changes in the brain.
